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WHY DOGS DONT PLAY CRICKET!
Dogs dont have hands! (something that i have observed over many years) They would have to catch the ball in the mouth! how do they bowl.......run up to the batsman and drop the ball? How does the batsman hit the ball.....they dont, the pick the ball up and run to the boundary, being chased by the fielding team!
dogs chew and make everything wet. not much use polishing the ball! You wont get much swing with a mangled mess!
That brings me to, where on earth would a dog polish the ball, you have seen how humans do it......say no more!
Often dogs dont like to return the ball, they run away and hide! Imagine Stephen Fleming doing that as soon as he took a catch. It would be a very very long game. (the game is long enough already!!!)
Dogs like to bury things, so you can imagine stumps being dragged around, buried, peed on and being chewed!
Dogs cant read, most cricket grounds have signs saying no dogs, that should stop any game occurring!!
Dogs would get bored, when dogs(and humans) get bored they change the opposite sex. Humping on a cricket ground is NOT ALLOWED.
Dogs go around sniffing each others bottoms, thats not entertainment, well not for most. Imagine watching a whole day of dogs sniffing each other, each time a new batsman woud come in the whole team would greet him/her!
imagine Scott Styris scoring a hundred, woud the whole team come over and sniff his butt and lick his nuts? that horrible habit of soccer players dry rooting would be multiplied a hundred fold and it wouldnt even take a good catch to start it, the dogs would just do it out of habit anyway as soon as a rear end greeted them. never trust a dog!!!
Actually, that brings up another topic, no girls!!!!! though it may be amusing for a few minutes (much like a car chase) what follows when the chase is over would not amuse many!!!! definitely not for the kids. imagine, daddy what are the doggies doing? (cant really say that they are doing the bitch!)
This is much like the the rule in cricket where a fielder or batsman is not allowed to go toilet on the cricket ground let alone the cricket pitch!!!!!! dogs dont have rules, so no one knows what the game is, even the umpires get into the game, i guess every dog is a player!
That brings me to the coach, what does he do? stand around and lick his balls? betcha he doesnt watch the game, probably chasing some tail!!!! (possibly his own)
I have another interesting thought, what would the crowd look like? would they all be dogs?.....no, the crowd would soon be involved in some form or other, why watch when you only want to play your own games? would it be a human crowd?....probably not, who would want to watch that stuff, when you can watch discovery channel?
wonder if any dogs will be wearing skimpy bikinis or do they come down and flaunt it? will the mothers bring any pups down, do the dogs perve at the crowd in between overs.
What happens when a dog player comes home late from a game? will it be drunk or smell of another dog? will the missus scream "whos the bitch you have been with?" will the dogs smoke and drink after the game? tell tall stories? a pub crawl for a dog would be much easier!
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